Apologies in Advance.

Yesterday I drove home from Fredericksburg. More like, I left home to go to Virginia Beach. Because that is exactly how I feel. Home for me isn't virginia beach right now, and getting in my car was something i wasnt ready to do.

But I had to.

I got in the car, and I drove. Well first I dropped off ryan, but then it was just me and the car. My ipod died pretty quick and i dont get along with the radio so i just drove in silence for a while. I just thought about things. Basically I had a pity party, and im not proud to admit that i may have started crying at some point. but thats besides the point.

Whats the point of it all?

Life I mean. Whats the point of life if i am living it just to please people, or because its what im "supposed to do" ? I really am just tired of the world. Sorry if this blog post is me ranting, but seriously. the world kinda sucks. War is the dumbest invention ever. I dont understand politics, and never will. people are dying all over the world for reasons that should be easily solved by money. which dont even get me started on money. its paper. Anyways. Driving just made me think about what lifes all about today and it just made me sad and lonely and pissed off. I want to get out of this place so bad.

Next summer will be different. im not gonna sit at home or work my life away for minimum wage and a 40% discount. Im getting out and im gonna go do something.

Something, ANYTHING.

Anything but this. i feel like the more i sit at home in virginia beach, the more i am rotting away to a mindless nothing. i hate it. I just want to experience things, or help people, or wander around aimlessly without an agenda. anything but this.

I think too much, but my mind seems like the only sane place sometimes.

Ill be done ranting now.

"And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born

Then, it’s time to go"