What are you so afraid of?

Think about a time when you really felt alive. Not just an every day, breathing moment, a real moment.

I find myself feeling this way a lot when I am in nature. On Tuesday I got the chance to really be in nature.  My friend Dave and I went long boarding together down a canal path near campus. It was a great day to be outside and enjoying the beauty that surrounds us on a normal basis. Why is it so hard for us to see this beauty every day? It is around us all the time, and yet we are distracted by things less than beautiful. If there's one thing I am gonna do this week, I am going to slow down and take the time to look around me.

But anyways. So we boarded down this path that lead to the Rappahannock River. We stood around and just took in the beauty of the place. So peaceful and calm. We skipped rocks for a while, well Dave did. I attempted to skip rocks, Dave had to move out of the way a few times. But it was genuinely just a fun time. We started talking about random stuff, like how awesome it would be to be a bird, or the fact that I have strange eating habits. But everything we talked about seemed to lead to a conversation about God. Dave said something that was really cool to me. He said that God must be an artist. And that is so true. How can you look at the moon, or a sunrise and think that its just there by chance? God made that moon, and he paints that sunrise every morning for our enjoyment. He loves us that much.

Besides talking about the beauty of nature, we got the chance to talk about how we were doing. Both Dave and I were recently placed as Young Life leaders, so it was awesome getting the chance to talk with someone who is going through the same thing. We talked about excitement, and how crazy the past week has been, but mostly we talked about fear. We talked about fear, and how unnecessary it is. Like really, think about it. What do we have to be afraid of? The answer is nothing. Our God is for us, and if he is for us then what could ever be against us? Again, nothing. Dave put it perfectly when he sent me this email, here's part of it..

"Well I was thinking, and maybe we shouldn't be trying to fit God in our hearts to fill our emptyness, I think we should completely allow him to BE the shape of our hearts. I dunno about you, but when I think of how great it would be if God was the only thing in my heart I smile a big cheeser :D"

Seriously, how much better off would we be if God was ALL we were ever concerned about? Well, it can be that way. On the ride back we saw a dad and his son biking on the trail. We talked about how much simpler life was when we were kids. I thought about it and said something along the lines of, Life doesn't have to be so complicated, we make it that way. I make my life so much more complicated than it needs to be, and for what? Nothing. There's no other way to put it, our lives are stressful and scary because we make them that way. If we could take the time to slow down and realize that God is with us in everything we do, we would be sooo much better off. I got discouraged the other day when I went into King George to meet girls for the first  time. I was discouraged because I got scared. My fear prevented me from talking to a lot of girls. But why was I so afraid? What is so scary that is is stopping me from sharing the best news there is? NOTHING. Jesus Christ is so amazing, how could I not share his love with girls who need to hear it? That's just it, yea I'm scared, and yea I'm bound to mess up, but getting the chance to step into a high school and share the love of Christ outweighs every ounce of fear. If we trust in God, nothing can stop us.

So, what are you so afraid of?

This one's for God.

Sometimes I just have to write out my prayers, and tonight is one of those nights. From time to time this is going to be a prayer blog, and tonight, I got a lot of praying to do.  So this is just a heads up, this one's for God.

God.

I am so overwhelmed with just excitement and love and at the same time I am scared out of my mind. My head is a complete mess of just thoughts and anxieties that I know that right now you are the only real foundation upon which i can pour my heart out to. Lord your plans for me right now are so huge. King George high school is about to change forever, I am about to change forever. You have instilled in me the greatest hope for such a strong future of leadership and growth, and I cannot be grateful enough for the teammate you have given me. God I just pray for Dan. He is such a faithful follower, and i pray that we can just grow together. that our strengths and weaknesses will just be met by each other. I pray that you give us the strength to be bold and courageous in times of hardship. starting this new school is going to be a battle God, but we are so ready. i have so much confidence that Dan will be an awesome leader. and i just pray that the boys at king george will see you through him. everytime we walk into the halls at king george i just pray that you will be with us, every step. i want so badly for younglife to just thrive in this high school God, and I want so badly for you to just move in each and every highschooler. God some of them know you, and others no nothing of you and i just cannot wait to see lives that will be touched by your holy spirit. God you are so present in my life right now, more than ever, and words cannot describe my emotions right now. This is really happening. I am really a younglife leader. it is so crazy, and i truely never knew what  this day would feel like. God you are so good. I pray that you will just search my heart, and know my anxious thoughts, and lead me Lord. because that is what I truely am, a follower. i may be a leader now, but i pray that i will never ever forget that i am always a follower. that's it God, I am following you. I trust you whole heartedly and i know that no matter what happens, i have you. thank you so much for just being there, and showing up in my life. you have my full attention, i cannot wait to see your plans unfold. i am so ready to do work for you. I love you.

amen.

Tryin to see the world beyond my front door.

Jesus spent 40 days in the desert. 40 days of sacrifice. 40 days of temptation.What will these 40 days mean for me?

Well, tomorrow I'm gonna start living differently.

It is the start of Lent, and yea I am gonna give up some things, but I have decided to take up a few things too. I want to start branching out of my world. This world that I carry within me has recently become a lot smaller in the grand scheme of things. The life outside of me is so much bigger than I can even comprehend, and I want to go there. It may seem little, but every day, for the next 40 days, I am going to step out of my comfort zone. Every day I am going to talk to someone I don't know. Whether it be a compliment, or a full on conversation about something random, I am going to make it happen. I figure that everything starts small, so it may not be a lot, but I am hoping that it leads to something bigger. At times I know I am going to look like a fool, but hey, I figure it's good practice.

Anyone who has ever made a difference in there world had to start somewhere. My somewhere will be here, in Fredericksburg.  I guess In a way, I am sacrificing my complacency, in hopes of maybe learning a little bit more about other people, who will in turn teach me things about myself.

Another thing I am going to do is listen to God more. I don't give him enough of my time, and tomorrow that stops. He will have my full attention during quiet times every day. He has sacrificed so much for me, how could I not start doing the same for him?

In the words of Bill Page, "It's time to go to work."

A song to remind you of the good old days :)

Take this music and use it.

Singing in the car, windows down, nothing but me and the drive.

My yesterday wasn't planned at all. In fact, to be truly honest I was pissed off at the beginning of it. I woke up with plans to go down to the ocean front and hang out with my old friend from high school. Well, to put it nicely, he SUCKS at keeping plans. I waited around for like 3 hours for him to text me back, he never did. But anyways, that is besides the point. I decided that I wasn't gonna wait around anymore so I got in my car and started driving. It was 65 degrees out and sunny so I wasn't about to waste a pretty day. I drove down to 78th street, grabbed my longboard out of my car, and rode down a few streets. After realizing how unpaved and bumpy most of the streets were I decided I was gonna give up on the board and I went to walk on the beach. Can I just mention how wonderful the beach is when it is deserted? Well, it is wonderful. The water was ice cold, but the walk was just what I needed. I love getting the chance to be completely independent and alone sometimes. It's the best.

I'm leaving you with this song. Haha for some reason it is the one song that stands out from my car ride, but hey, it's a good one. "Take this music and use it, let it take you away, and be hopeful cause he'll make a way."