"Sometimes the things you need, you really don't realize you need them, until they're staring you right in the face. It is crazy, but I really can't define the way I am feeling right now. As I sit here, listening to the sounds of guitars and distant conversations, I am just so content. This is where I need to be. It isn't always where I want to be, and at times I wish I were somewhere else, but I can always count on it as the place I need to be."
-I wrote this on Sunday night with the intention of finishing it. Instead I got distracted.
I got distracted with the silly little details that always seem to bog me down on a day to day basis. Sunday night I was in a great mood, excited for the semester ahead, no doubt that it would be a good one. However, life likes to mess with me sometimes. I woke up on Monday morning feeling so alone. My head was a mess and I began to stress myself out over a thousand meaningless things.
Meaningless.
Why do we do this? Why do we fill our heads with worries that don't matter? I guess the truth is, we are only human. There is only so much we can do before we must let go, and let God. I have always known this, but somehow I find it hard to apply it to my own life sometimes. I want to have everything under control, and I hate surprise endings, but then, where is the fun in that? What is life without the mess?
Meaningless?
Coming back to school, I realized just how much I need this place. Sure, I need this place to get an education, to better my future, but what I have failed to recognize is just how much I need this place to better my relationship with God, to realize that the mess of my life is wonderful. Where is the meaning in life without a little mess to get us side tracked every now an then, to make us realize just how much we can't live this life on our own.
We need God and, like it or not, we need the mess.
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