I have always felt
like the world has held me in its view, like I have been kept by it. Confined.
Lately I have witnessed my soul wandering from the confines though; searching
for things that I can’t see, hoping for things that I know are there, fighting
for the presence of truth within the world. In the article, Naming the Elephant, Sire states that,
“A worldview is the fundamental perspective from which one addresses every
issue of life.” I have a hard time with this vague definition because my view
of the world is so much more than just pondering the issues of it; I want to
find hope within it. I devote the entirety of my days to that hope. When I look
at the world, I see so much more than the present-ness of things. My “Weltanschauung”
has become heaven. Eternity.
The art that I create reflects that sense of wander. I am constantly searching for the
ability to explain things with paint rather than words, to ponder life by means
of a paintbrush, to find meaning within a blank canvas. It is all right in
front of our faces. The world is right there. But beauty is found within the
fear of something more than just the world, more than just what is in front of
our faces. The world can only give
us so much. It can only show me so many things. Because even if I were to see
the entire world and all that it contains, I am almost certain that I wouldn’t
be content. Ever since finding God within the depths of my heart, my view of
the world has become so much bigger than just, the world. Yet, even with the
certainty of heaven, I still find myself wondering how it is I can feel so
contained by the world in which we live.
If I am free, then why don’t I live that way? If I am promised eternity,
then why do I live with so much weight pressed on the present circumstances of
life? If I am given truth, then why do I dwell on worldly lies? Searching for
answers from the world has left me alone so many times. But God never intended for
things to be the way they are, so I will hold on to the promise of eternity,
and all that lies within that one word. I will view the world as a temporary
box. I will create art that is temporary. At times, I will believe that
temporary things will give me life, but I hope that by experiencing the
temporary, I will only long so much more for that which is lasting. For eternity.
